Last saturday night I woke up around 4 AM with the feeling like a tiny person was dancing on a nerve behind my eye, chewing on it while his friends were having a party in my stomach. The headache was so bad that it woke me up and it almost made me puke. Almost, luckily. I don’t know why, or how. I have more headache, all very different and for most I know how to handle them, but for this headache there was nothing I could do to relieve the pain. Normally sleep helps, but not this night.
What I actually wanted to say was that I opened my facebook, since I was up already, and saw that I had a message from the Australian boy! That message got me way too excited, and the next morning when he stopped replying, it made me way too sad.
Later I got a message from another friend, which made me sort of irritated, since I wasn’t feeling well and I didn’t felt like talking. Except for the Australian boy. It kinda got me thinking, why is it so exciting to get a message from one person, while if another messages you it isn’t that important in your mind? The second guy to message me was a friend, a good friend and I really don’t want to loose contact with him, but still I didn’t wanted to talk. While with the australian boy (or some other friends) the moment they send me a message/ call me on the phone, I get an instant internal sunshine boost and everything seems a bit happier. Eventhough I don’t feel that well, for example, last sunday I was talking to the Australian boy and I still had -a minor version – of the headache, so my conversation wasn’t as clever or smart. (Which it barely is, although I do think I f*cked it up pretty badly last weekend. He started to talk about how he wanted me to survive the headache, so he could spend time with me and I wouldn’t die before him, that if he died before me I could find someone else. My response to this was that finding somebody else was too much work, but what I actually wanted to say was that I don’t want to find somebody else. Which for some reason I can’t say too him. So now I’m kinda scared he thinks I’m a weirdo. Which I am. Anyway)
Anyway, I think it is interesting how much other people, and their way of interacting with you, can affect your mood. The fact that a message from a certain person can make your head fill with sunlight and warmth, while with others you just shrug. Or how annoyed you can get when you send somebody a message, you see they saw it but they don’t responce. URGH.
Funny stuff, we humans.